7 Quick Takes: Thanksgiving (Week 3)

See everyone else's seven diddy's here.

~I~

It was a small Thanksgiving at my parents house, as only half of their kids showed up. Total people present: 12.

~II~

While writing up my birth story, I asked for my sister's input. She responded that she hated holding my uterus in a bowl. I don't remember that. I would think that I would, given that she would have had to rip it out of my body to do so. 

~III~

My mom's response to my girl's ridiculous talents (sitting unsupported this week- she does NOT know she's only two months old!): "Oh, my friend's baby crawled at three months." NO! NO! THAT MUST NOT HAPPEN! WORST NIGHTMARE EVER! CRAWLING THREE MONTH OLD!

~IV~

I discovered the reason that people have more children. It's the clothes. I cannot imagine Ariana's ADORABLE little clothes passing out of hands before stuffing another sweet little body in them. 

~V~

I can't think of anything funny to say about this article. So, instead, here are some facts about me: I am a visual learner. I love charts and graphs. We haven't vaccinated our kids. Yes, we researched it. In fact, my mom calls me the "reading queen." I like that title. 

~VI~

If you ever think to yourself, "This sewing project will on take 4-5 hours, no worries." IT IS A LIE. Do not believe yourself. In other news, after about 40 hours of work, my wedding dress was converted into an adorable baptismal gown.

~VII~

I was introduced to these dancers on Thanksgiving. I got chills.

7 Quick Takes: Poop, Pizza, and Quotes (Week 2)

See everyone else's seven diddy's here.

~I~

There is nothing like the look on your husband's face when you carry in a poopy cloth diaper that's been sitting in the car for a week instead of the pizza you were supposed to remember to pick up.

~II~

Yesterday, someone asked me when my due date was. I had the baby two months ago. Thanks stranger, thanks a lot.

~III~

You know you are hearing your own words back at you when your toddler (while looking at a book about cats), starts talking about how the fish is hungry and should eat his vegetables.

~IV~

And another Titus quote while looking at the photo album: "Susan look angry. Maybe. She should. Take a nap." An excellent solution for all problems, M'boy.

~V~

While driving today, I saw the car in front of me had peeled off their Obama sticker. It's ok buddy, a lot of people made that mistake. Make better choices next time.

~VI~

I absolutely cannot wait to use this quote in conversation: "Between impulse and action, there is a nebulous realm of curtsey that is begging to make your acquaintance." I will feel so very cunning. And pray they don't figure out it's a Star Trek quote.

~VII~

This man is my hero.

Just a quick reminder

Never forget:

Let me tell you, Morning Girl just loves the 4:30 am toddler wake up.

The Worst Idea In the World

So if anyone has been following FSU football, you know by now that the team has been dominating the competition. Shut outs in the first quarter, discussions of mercy endings, crying coaches from rival schools... Really, winning has become so blasé that it's really not even worth watching. Don't tell my husband I said that! When faced with a "game watching" situation and time to kill, I was forced to come up with more exciting entertainment. Enter the Worst Idea Ever:

Competitive Mothering

Because being in charge of little people all day is a multifaceted undertaking, there will be many judged categories. Kinda like a biathlon, except that there is no end. Let's put some purely hypothetical mom-friends people in the ring. Enter our first three competitors:

Alyssa, a still adjusting mom of two, who sometimes hides in the closet to eat chocolate and catch a break.

Susan, a mom of one, very punny.

Haley, "the ever patient," mom of three, who may or may not have introduced Alyssa to blogging.

After much thought from a purely unbiased judge, here are the results for each round:

Competition Round	Alyssa	Susan	Haley
Cleanest House		X
Worst Morning Sickness			X
Chillest Kid		X
Best Baker	X
Worst Cook	X
Most Child Chatter Tolerated			X
Most Bodily Fluid Cleanup			X
Cutest kid(s)	X	X	X
Cry it out vs. Parent to Sleep Championship Round	Just kidding! We are not going there.

And the clear winner of this contest is:

~X~

~X~

~X~

Mary, who is actually the best mother.

So what do you think folks? Should we get this tournament going in real life? Any other ideas for  rounds?

Quick Takes: Week 1

See everyone else's seven diddy's here.

~I~

Have you ever created something viral? At a mere two and a quarter, little Titus has his first. It all begins with me mentioning his baby friend was learning to crawl. Suddenly, every time Gus breathed moved, he was "Ler-ning!" My friend started saying it. Her Mother-in-Law started saying it. The MIL's coworkers have picked it up. Basically, it's coming to a neighborhood near you at any moment.

And another quote:

"No. Clip Nail. Mommy. Bad choice."

~II~

This girl doesn't know she's two months. Yes, she is standing in that picture. No I did not photo shop my hands out. Other tricks include rolling over both ways by four weeks, sleeping for blissfully long stretches every night, and waiting patiently when I say I'm helping her brother and will be there in a moment.

~III~

It's impossible to make it through the first three (or more) reviews of this without laughing. Try it.

~IV~

This is my fourth atempt to start a blog. I even have old opening posts to prove it. They aren't very good.

~V~

Five is the amounts of seconds I hesitated before hitting publish on the first post. What kind of crazy person starts two HUGE projects at the same with two kids? This one, that's who. I've pledged to go through all my cookbook/homemaker type ebooks Did I mention there are about 100 of them? (and cook the new foods for dinner/lunch/breakfast) to make a "mom-binder" full of all the stuff I've learned, recipes, meal plans, organizational goodies, unicorn hunting tips, home pirate defenses, and other such helpful things.  And blog 2-3 a week.

Basically,

1 crazy person= 2 projects + 2 kids + 1 huge batch of unfamiliar recipes

~VI~

Six is the approximate number of times a week I get toothpaste on my shirt necessitating: a change of shirt Let's be honest, that never happens- who wants to do more laundry? A careless shrug of the shoulders, thinking "I have two kids with me, strangers will understand," or "eh, glad I'm still in my PJs at noon" but now I have third option. It's jacket weather! If you ever see me in my coat sweating because it's seventy, now you know why.

~VII~

My husband has had has pinkeye. Don't get 7 year olds get that? Also, some fool put her head on his pillow to nap. Updates to follow.  Despite blood-red vampire eyes, he's still extremely handsome. Edit: He wrote that.

In Which I Create a Blog

What do you say in a first post? It’s almost more awkward than a first date.

“Hi! I’m Alyssa and I like to eat cheese.”? Too mundane.

“Welcome! I like to run around barefoot in public places!”? Too hippie.

“Hello reader! Please, PLEASE read my blog! Leave comments!”? Too honest.

And while all of these may be true, none may be right for the moment.

So, in the absence of a stellar opener, let’s just move on, shall we.

I suppose you might be wondering about the title of my blog, MarchandMinute. Here’s a bombshell: My last name is Marchand. And just to prove how ridiculous the english language is, it’s not minute, as in 1/60 of an hour, it’s minute: “extremely small, as in size, amount, extent, or degree: minute differences.” But of course, you could tell that just by reading it, right? I think everything funny that happens in the details. So that’s what I’ll be talking about here: the deets.

Speaking of which, here’s a rundown of important stats about yours truly. I, Alyssa, am an extroverted Catholic and reluctant geek, who bakes frequently, cooks adequately, sings joyfully, walks barefootedly and lives hippy-ly (Some things are just hard to alliterate, OK). I am wife to Adam, and Mommy to Titus and Ariana.

The rest of the crew:

Adam. Age: twenty-mumble. Part teacher, part DJ. All introvert. Favorites include: Watching Sci-fi, having men’s poker night, and being in his room making no noise and pretending he doesn’t exist.

Titus. Age: two and a half. Favorites include: Curious George, Being a monster, and pushing the shopping cart as fast as possible while looking at his feet.

Ariana. Age: Tiny baby. Favorites include: Nursing, Daddy, and well, more nursing.

Things I like and you are likely to hear more about: Babies (specifically my babies), Baking delicious goodi...I mean... cooking real, healthy food, my toddler’s many adventures, stepping on glass walking around barefoot, Catholicism,  Philosophical musings on mothers contributing to society via grueling hours and dirty jobs, and, well, anything else that strikes my fancy, hence the minute title.

Things I do not like, that you are also likely to hear about: mosquitos. Our enmity cannot be overstated.

You can expect to hear from me 2-3 times a week, depending on the level of crazy happening.

Oh and don't forget to pass this on to a friend to brighten both their day and mine.

Cheers!

Alyssa

PS. That’s our most recent family photo, so you can get a clear visual as to what we look like while perusing this blog. :D