Saturday, December 28, 2013

The Honey Incident

Good news! I'm not dead! (And neither is my blog.)  I've been visiting family for Christmas, which means I must spend ALL THE MINUTES talking. And visiting. Oh, and uh, talking. But! My parents are having a party, so you all get me. Without further delay, I relate: "The Honey Incident of 2013."


Our scene: The kitchen. One grumpy (teething?) baby, finally, finally asleep after the worst morning of her life. One ...uh... helpful toddler, unpacking groceries. One frazzled mama, attempting to get the family ready for a 10 day leave the next day and do twenty things at once. One being getting melting food and warming meat finally put away.

Titus started out his normal helpful self. Putting nuts in the pantry, using two hands, et cetera, et cetera. But, just as a I turned away to get the sausage in the freezer (at last!), he grabs the honey. This honey is an organic, local, raw, in glass, $13.99 jar of honey. We are not $14 jar of honey people around here. My husband is a Catholic school teacher folks. I only justified the purchase because the screaming baby meant another errand stop was out of the question and hey, the glass jar was cool.

Having completely forgotten that that honey existed (it had been four grueling hours since we returned), I gave Titus a rather urgent command to DROP IT RIGHT NOW. In the slowness of the following second, I'm not sure whether he threw it or dropped it like I said, but that glorious golden goo hit the tile. And in my relaxed, loving, peaceful parenting way, I of course handled the situation in a totally calm, logical manner.

A picture taken at the exact moment of the drop.

As I watched the gleaming overpriced liquid seep out of the broken jar, I may have lost my mind. After sending Titus to the other room to prevent further screaming (me not him) I made one of life's tough choices. To follow the five second rule or not to follow the five second rule? It was a sticky liquid, but I had mopped recently...right? (Wrong.) Raw honey, uh antibacterial, right? The result: A cereal bowl of honey on the counter and a ruined day. I cannot describe how dispirited I felt for DAYS after this event. I cried cleaning honey, I cried making dinner, I cried on Adam when he got home. In retrospect, it's actually pretty silly. It was honey. Fourteen dollars for a cup and a half. But honey. But no glass chips have been eaten. (Update: I chomped one the first week of January. It was rather scary.) No one even got sliced in the break. Heck, I even got a three hour chunk to myself that evening while Adam took the kids to a park.

So the moral of this story is: My husband is a saint.

PS: Titus still talks about this a week and a half later "Honey break. Mommy sad. No throwing."

PS2: I just found this link up. It seems totally related. Check it out!


  1. Oooohhh... lol I've had days like this. Days where I swear Olivia tip-toes around me and is silently waiting for me to starting crying/yelling/breaking down, because she has pushed me past me breaking point. At least you salvaged some of the honey!!

  2. I would have scooped the honey up too! And I'm totally with you on that one thing (that in reality is minor, but seems major at the moment) can ruin my mood for DAYS. That's something I've really been trying to work on, as well as being able to see things for what they are.

    1. I've noticed having a level headed husband helps a ton. Although he clearly thinks I'm crazy in the moment, he does know the solution to 95% of my problems- alone time.

  3. I love your picture at the exact moment! I'm sure certain WORDS would come out of my mouth, too! Not good ones.

    But at the end of the day, you just have to say, "No one is hurt. it's just earthly stuff." And hey, you have a kid who helps you put up the groceries!

    1. Thanks! It was really handy I had that secret camera rigged up. :D
      It is cool, but don't get too excited. Titus does help me put the groceries away, but it causes pantry confusion. I can't find anything and my poor husband always says we are out of peanut butter and spaghetti. I think I found three pounds of each last week, hidden around knee level.

  4. I dropped an expensive brand-new thing of perfume once, and it shattered. Obviously, it left a mark, because I still think about it sadly to this day. Ha!!
    Props for getting the honey up!!

  5. That's awful! Good perfume is so hard to find (and afford sometimes!)

    Waste not, right?